Shattered Dreams
by snarryvader81
Summary: Carth thought that he would have a happily ever after with Revan when she returned. He was wrong. LSF!Revan/LSM!Exile, one sided Revan/Carth


The minute he saw them, he knew.

He'd suffered through six years of waiting, six years of agonizing over where she might be, what might be happening to her—

All because he was in love with her.

They hadn't really dated, but his feelings, he thought, were clear. She knew, but was simply reluctant to enter into any sort of relationship. They'd kissed, she refused to go further.

Then she left, and was gone for six years. 2,190 days. 52,560 minutes.

It had seemed like much longer to him.

But then, just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, she came back.

For those six years, he'd often imagined how it would happen, when his love, his Revan, returned from the Unknown Regions.

She would be standing there, looking as beautiful as ever, with her long black hair and blue eyes. She might be wearing armor, or a Jedi Robe, or just plain clothes. She would have a lightsaber clipped to her belt, as she always did.

She might be talking, frantically telling of what she had discovered in the unexplored territories of space, or she might be silent, having been victorious in her battles.

But then, he would come to her, and she would forget everything as soon as she saw him. She would run into his arms, tearfully joyful. They would murmur words of greeting and love, and then . . .

Carth didn't know what would happen after that. He hadn't cared to think that far ahead. Subconsciously, he must've just assumed they would have a happily ever after.

But then, the day he had been fantasizing about came, and instead of being the best moment of his life, it was devastating.

"Revan is back! The Jedi Revan and the Jedi Exile are back!"

Those words, spoken so frantically by his aide, pounded incessantly in his head during the trip to the spaceport where Revan's ship had docked. He barely even noticed when first Mission and Zaalbar joined him, nor later Bastila, Jolee, and Juhani.

No one spoke during the seemingly never ending walk towards Revan's ship; all were lost in their own thoughts.

Finally, they arrived.

Carth's eyes immediately found Revan, and it was just as he had imagined it.

There she was, with her long black hair and her blue eyes, dressed in a Jedi Robe with a lightsaber resting at her hip.

Though, as he noticed a moment later, that wasn't the only thing at her hip.

The girl couldn't have been more than four or five. Revan's arm was around her bottom, supporting her against her side.

She had pale skin, and long blond hair and green eyes.

With a sick feeling deep in his gut, Carth realized that her appearance was familiar.

It was like looking at a young, female Exile.

Jolee turned to him with sympathy in his eyes, though Carth ignored it, just as he was trying to desperately ignore what the scene before him was saying.

The child in Revan's arms wasn't hers, he thought frantically. She couldn't be. Maybe - maybe she was The Exile's, but not Revan's. Maybe Revan was just holding her for him while he was busy, maybe—

A tall man with dirty blond hair and green eyes appeared at the top of the Ebon Hawk's loading ramp. With long, purposeful strides he walked towards Revan.

Carth held his breath. He was going to take the girl from his comrade, who was watching her for him. He was going to take his daughter from Revan, who was simply a fellow Jedi, nothing more, who was watching the girl for him. He was going to take—

The Exile's arm slipped around Revan's waist, and she leaned into him.

"Mommy," he heard the girl say to Revan. "Can we go home? I'm hungry."

Revan smiled indulgently, before glancing at the Exile. He, in turn, looked to a man that Carth recognized as one of the Supreme Chancellor's aides.

"I don't see a problem with that," the man said. "Though, the Chancellor wishes to debrief you on all that you've discovered in the Unknown Regions. Unless there's anything urgent, I don't see why we couldn't wait a few hours."

"Thank you," said Revan gratefully, as The Exile led her away. Neither of them had even noticed Carth and the others in crowd of people at the spaceport.

Before anyone could speak, Mission set off after Revan, disappearing into the crowd. Carth desperately wanted to follow her, to find Revan and talk to her, but he found that he couldn't get his legs to move.

"They're a good match, Republic."

The gruff voice was familiar, and his set his teeth on edge.

"Canderous," he gritted out.

The Mandalorian Warrior, dressed in full armor except for the helmet (which was currently held under his arm), paused in front of the group. "Onasi. They're a good match," he said again. "Better than she would've been with you."

Carth growled deep in his throat. "I love her!"

Canderous just smirked. "So you say. But you don't understand her, do you? You don't understand the Force, or the temptation of the Dark Side. Neither do I. But he does. They're very much alike." With a last look, he turned and walked past them.

Carth glared after him until he was out of sight, before finally closing his eyes.

A dream, he thought wildly. A dream, a nightmare - it can't be real!

But when he opened his eyes, nothing had changed.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well, my first KotOR Fic! Yay for me! I just beat the first game, and I've started on the second. I have no idea where this plot came from, but I think I like how it turned out. I usually play female!Revan, and it had to be that way for this story. I just love to torture Carth, don't you:)

Anna


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